feelings...

watching across gentle shores,
splashing waves in lines with the oars,
a fine line of good and evil beneath,
a decision to join made by a imaginative illusion.

whats the difference even if u succumbed to it?
it does make one if u do not emerged.
feelings of joy,temporary?
permanent joy does not comes in this way,
its such easiness to go with the waves,
for going against is far to hard to do..

its best to stick to the sandy shores,
for confusion will not call,
its best to understand the consequence of an action,
but rationality yet another question..

point is never go across the boundary,
because its not bout losing the control of the breeze,
its more to losing the identity that is within..
feelings were never lie,and det is wat that lies within the limit,
instinct tells when things are wrong important thing is to regcognise and stop
turn ur back n walk away...

mistakes ll always be made,but forgiveness must also be given,
for noone is perfect,love still holds on,n it should never turn to hate.
thats the magic of the entire thing ....feelings
sense of joy,free,released state..:)

finals coming arrgggg...:P

finally the last exam of the year..and guess wat i m still plain lazy, not only det i ve been going out partying just too much....its seriously time to stop...sigh..(i wish i mean it this very time) anyways updating from last week till today i was out wif YC for the capoeira thing...its this really cool up and coming brazillian martial arts which is a crazed now and i m definitely joining during my hols...anyways they perform in front of bangsar jln telawi every fortnight,part of advertisement n entertainment,went wif some of this ppl for dancing,dere was this guy which was such a great shuffler...really i feel like a robot next to him :P...met my friends dere ..seriously KL a rather small world...den was out wif mun mun ...hehe the massage was good rite :) ..anyways just to congratulate my heng tai and cherished friends u know who u r...for the excellent results that u all gotten..( my ex lawmates) so proud of u....:) die now i m gonna be surrounded by so many future lawyers...at least i wont be branded as talkative anymore...
last nite another crazy nite...were in 2 places and the crowd was good, met new friends ,were really nice ,a really good partying affair, once again...i ve to remind myself to not go overboard...so after today..its time to STUDY....i ve to engrave this in my mind 24/7..meanwhile just had a great lunch wif my family...everyone seems so happy lately... glad for them....as for me...i ve many things on my head (finals ..sigh)...however in few lines i shall sum it all up......i m glad to have friends like u, pulling me through and u know whom u r , ve no idea how much i appreciate our friendship...i know i m being long winded but honestly dets from the bottom of the heart....:p n i ll do the same for u anytime wherever u all are...:)

simple plan-untitled

lyrics-
I open my eyes,
I try to see but
I'm blinded by the white light.
I can't remember how,
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight.
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

Chorus:
How could this happen to me?
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound
But no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto
A time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
(chorus)

mesmerise...

silver linings,tapestry windings,
seeping thoughts,generally fades.
embezzled by a diamond,intrigue by an action,
unforbidden answers,mesmerises...

shooting stars,meteoroids corona,
world being wide,shallowness being deep.
creepiness of ease,
tired of all these,
an answer of glory,peacefulness yet another story.

sense of wonder,indepth to acquire,
threaten to be received,unknowingly it leaves...

happiness surrounds a numb,ignorant sight,
shining on the surfaced,
dying beneath a triangular circuit....
resurfaced by a desire to return to the unheard,
life is a beautiful journey,thus
be mesmerised....

thoughts..

( this poem is written to constantly remind myself of the things i need to work on....a great reminder..to enable myself to stop running away and start facing the problems that occurs...during the time when i was chairing a talent event...i had faced a lot of difficulties handling people....i hope that i could improve in the areas n also in handling many other factors of my life..)

the thorns on a rose plant,
pricks the hands upon touch.
ignore the pain,let go, thorns are just part of the plant.

if mistakes are made,to admit and stand for it,
is parts and parcels of the lessons that comes upon.
stop blaming others,do not seek solace,
face it and be quiet.

truth is an action,speech a weapon,
running away,all is nothing but foolish indecisions.
standing by and being understanding holds the best precision.

feeling the pain as it goes within,
its really nothing when u see past the picture.
thus reminding oneself never to stray to the wrong path,
the right key to the right action.

faith is a strong healer,
love a strong agent,
holding on is the best answer,thus may all said be forgiven...
in the end losing face is nothing as compared to not knowing
what is wrong within.

in the end,life is simple
if u dare face urself,be down to earth,
stop looking afar..and start doing worthwhile things that are more precious thus far...

sense of redemption

someone told me that i shall be given peace...to uphold myself..and the respect i do not deserve from...i finally ve just one thing to say to u...

noone will know what really happens,
and u of all people knows the truth..
if i was a friend,u made it clear...
but did u...lets leave this question to be left as blank...becuz what denial,excuses
the truth is u n only u will know..

love a unquestionable,mortal sadness..
since u knew...why did u play with it,
what causes u to do things u know adds on to the burden..
what respect is this...what understanding??

how insensitive..unrequited love u say??/
well let me tell u one thing...u the one who needs peace is u and urself..
u dun respect love for if u do, u wont play with another's heart...
probably i m wrong n i still need to learn a lot...but one thing i m know is my conscience is clear..
u used me...and thats the friend u say u r..
u knew i ll b dere..n so i shall be becuz thats what love is all about..
but i ve close the chapter becuz i realised det i cannot let u used me again..

it would never feel right becuz wat is done is done...but i do know now i made the right decision..
and u ll never a true friend....and thats what det hurt the most losing a good friend...

goodbye..

a chapter closed,
a chapter opens.
a lot happens,things done are unquestioned,
words do not help,a feeling of being used .
yet a sense of pleasure....deep down.

a sense of regret,
moments of silence,
a decision so swift,
no regrets,no wonders.

why does this happens,the unthinkable.
where did the bravery comes,
it did...things happens..
why is it so painful,yet so sweet??
why does it seems so immature,
yet it has to be done.

false hope ll lead on to lies,
to face unreality of the allies.
goodbye..its time...
goodbye......goodbye..:)
lets begin the journey of a new life.....

recharge rave party...

yesterday was really a blast...15 of us when down to pd to party at this year rave ...it features three main rooms with two rooms spinning diff music by reknowned dj spinners whom are regulars at clubbing scene...there was a ferris wheel as well...too bad we din have the time to try that out..cuz we were just too bz boozing ..getting high n dancing our feets off..i had the greatest time dancing....hehe for once i drank so much i had to puke...but no regrets man..it was really really fun...there were close to 18000 ppl dere so u can imagine the crowd..gals were decked in beachwear bikinis and such...man the guys really had a good treat just viewing the stream of gals...meanwhile i had better start to hit the books soon n stop the clubbing scene for a while.....
hmm..wonder why but clubbing is really addictive..its like the idea of being able to enjoy moments of carefree happiness...getting away from the daily stress..probs...anyways...back to reality..i m starting to feel a guilty in partying too much....its like i ve been out every other week...sigh...anyhow..thats what being 21 is all about i guess..to go out dere n PARrttay...hehe :)
lately i m starting to feel a sudden change in myself..its like i had morphed into the person that i had always try to hide becuz i was just not prepared to reveal ...u know sumtimes i wonder whether it is bad or good..but the thing is..i dun feel anything but just being naturally me..yet sumwat i m just bothered with y there's this feeling telling me otherwise..anyhow..i guess sumtime ppl gotta change to be able to live life to the fullest no doubt bout it i m really starting to view many things in different dimensions n i really cant deny i was not into the zone at one point..well...thats the whole idea bout life i guess searching for the person that we r and trying to get the better out of it....u know its not bout wat ppl thinks or judge us..its really about how we think n judge ourselves becuz the most important thing is being able to live with the conscience that is clear and being able to pass the line we set for ourselves individually....
everyone ve many fidd reasons to changed but i know mine is just becuz of myself tryin to find the way out of this whole confusion but being able to live it on well.....anyhow to all my friends out dere...no matter wat i would to become off...one thing that i can assure u all is det my love to u as ur friend reamains just the same always....:)

a dedication to a special person...

last week a really sad thing happenend to a classmate of mine..though it is really a shocked to all of us..but i just want u to know det..we ll be dere to support u through and through..n u must fight to live becuz u ll ..u ve too and u ll be alright..:)

the unexpected roads....
with widen path we crosses,
all out roads are at a lost.
we dunno which one leads to which,
but alas it does fall in the same end..same width.

probably urs came a lil early,
but u know its ur will to change to seek,
they say u do not challenge fate,
but what they meant is det u do not let fate takes ur hand but rather face it with what is ur challenge.

nothing done or said gives effect,
but being brave and staying strong is vital becuz
elements of faith drives all fears away.
most importantly u know u done no wrong,
its noones fault,n noones mistake,
it is neither a curse nor blessing,
but its a changed that occured which lets just say another road to take.

alas...positivity gives hope and lots of happiness,
do not worry my friend becuz u dun ve too,
all u ever need to do is continue ur beautiful smile n journey of life,
and ur friends here ll always love u no matter wat and thats y u ve to stay ur path n walk it on..
fear not becuz we walk along with u...just as u do too with us..:)

lots and lots of love....many prayers and blessings to u..take care my friend..regards to ur family..

my new laptop..i love my bro..:)

my brother bought me my bday pressie..quite delayed..but it was really the best pressie i ever had...i finally gotten my laptop..HP...n i m just so thrill with it....anyways to my good ol bro..thanks a bunch...really lurve it..to bits..:)

the unexpected things bout life...

i ve so many things to blog about i really dunno where to start...just a week and i ve done so much that i now wonder y i dun feel time ...becuz i m going ahead of it..anyways after today's math test..i really need a break..goodness another 2 more weeks and i ll be having my finals...n yet i still ve not started...best part is det i m actually gonna go for the rave party this sat...honestly i cant wait...just gotten the tickets wif andrew...guess wat i seriously m a dangerous person to go out wif..seems like whenever i m out wif ppl i ll either caused them to lose their things...the other time wif darren n co...we lost car n all ...this time again we lost the carpark ticket n the car..hehehe..but the best part is det we actually found it back..cuz andrew remembers that he drop it in coffeebean hehehe..:P so now we must buy lottery ticket cuz to find sumthing like a carpark ticket lost especially in a place like mid val..a miracle to get it back....meanwhile i just cant wait for the beach party...we r gonna party baby...

this weeks i ve been out clubbing so many rounds its really fun..but of cuz balancing the studies is not..but what the hecklar..study hard play even harder my motto these days..last fri was really great...we had the farewell for darren n yoshie who were leaving for hawaii...bet they r enjoying the sun,surf n all now...:)anyways this time we went to nouvo bout close to 25 of us..we had the giant chivas rite in front n well...quite a number of them gotten drunk...( u know who u are.) meanwhile i was not...hehe cuz i had to take care of ppl drunk rite...:P anyways it was really a great nitelar enjoyed myself ...cept that when on the way back sumthing happened to the car which i was driving..i m such a blur person..din even noticed that there was no water and the car was overheated anyways luckily everthiing was ok ...meanwhile i din sleep n went straight for test the morning later....
seriously it was really god's blessinglar..the fact that i was partying like hell the nite before n yet i could still do the paper...seriously must not play wif my luck like det anymore...would u believe if i tell u det i only made a mistake out of the whole thing..oklar at most 2..u know wat neither could i..hehehe..:)anyways i gotta get back to my assignments n studies pay up for my guilt so det i can party properly this sat...sigh...life is fun ,stress,but still wat the hecklar..life's short hehe..:)

thought of the day...

Enlightenment and Free Will

We have the free will to allow our mind to be in charge, or to surrender control to a higher Source. Surrendering control is the major challenge of our lives.

The spiritual path is the path of healing the ego, the mind, the wounded self, so that rather than our wounded self being in charge, we are able to release our will to God.

We are beings of free will. We can choose to allow our mind, our ego, our wounded self to guide us, or we can choose to allow God to guide us.

This is a simple concept, yet doing it is the major challenge of our lives. This is because we have been practicing allowing our mind, with all the fears and false beliefs that we have acquired over the years, to be in charge. Our mind thinks it knows what to do. It thinks it has the knowledge to make good decisions. Yet the mind cannot distinguish between what is in our highest good and what hurts us, between what is true and what is not. The mind tells us things like, "I am taking care of my self when I blame someone for my hurt feelings," or "I am taking care of myself when I reward myself with a doughnut," or "I am taking care of myself when I relax with pot,"or "I am taking care of myself when I yell at someone who is not doing what I want them to do," or "I am taking care of myself when I walk away from someone in anger." Yet all of these behaviors are ways of trying to control others or our own feelings, rather than taking loving care of ourselves.

a good trip,enjoyable friends..great weekend..:)

On friday i went up with a group of uni mates to genting to watch a show....it was a wonderful trip, ended up in the casino..n guess wat i won from genting playing a game called big and small..it was so much fun becuz i just din know how the hell to play the game but i won..hehe talk bout first timer's luck..anyways i guess i was just pretty lucky...anyhow the people around me can't believe that i just placed a chip on a number that is impossible to be won and guess wat it did...the banker probably thought i was stupid at first but i got the last laugh...afterthat we continued our gambling to wee hours of the morning cuz we just could not sleep in the apartment.. we were having so much fun wif the boozing,gambling,..shitlar lucky nothing happened hehe.....meanwhile i just got back from the pc fair...this year they held it in kl convention centre in KLCC...
the place was just so damn crowded...i went wif sky,his korean cousin and darren...they came to pick me up....anyways dunno whats wrong wif uslar..first we lost one another in the crowd then we forgotten where we parked the car...it was just unlucky of uslar...darren ended up buying a laptop...i wanted to get too but since my bro already promised to get a HP model for me...i think i ll go wif that brandlar...meanwhile the mp3 were going on for a very cheap price..for a 512kb it cost bout rm449 from samsung..it was a nice one too...i think i ll go get itlar...anyways..sky was entertaining me wif his korean stories..afterthat we went to pyramid to collect darren's laptop...unfortunately when we gotten dere the shop was closed..talk bout bad luck..we gave up and went bak kut teh instead..
all in all the day was rather spoilt with so many happenings going on..2 hours wasted on walking wround anyhow...at least the food was good..meanwhile its ur faultlar darren...heheh.:) shit man when u guys go off to hawaii i ll not be able to ve ppl like u to hangout with..neways..i m so looking forward to aug 12th we must party like mad k...till then i gtg get my presentation done up for tomorrow's assignment...sigh...pressurelar..finals coming..btw...it was great being able to meet up wif u marcus before u left...good luck wif the photography things..and man when u become famous u better do a private potrait shot session for me for free...hehe..till then hope to see u in dec..:)

surrounding pressures....

when rough sea beckons,
the ship sails on.
watch across the horizons,
familiar faces appear.

Tempting or lust,
one just wonders..
undecided to the point,
thought turned desires.

To looked back or walk within,
to hang on and let go...
its a point of no return,
as neither makes a fair decision.

to let nature take it course,
or to let temptation spite the source.
what really matters,
its the heart of two souls together.

pressure surrounds,
faith cures indecision,
hope allows trust, thus love remained unharmed.