The whole new american lifestyle..

I am trying to get used to my new life here. Its getting on fine except that i suddenly feel the lost of comfort....lol...hmmm, lets see i am such a spoilt brat back in M'sia, i had no house chores, no laundry etc. You know the typical city gal det kinda ve evrything done for her because she's either plain lucky or rather one word"spoilt" hehehe...sheesh i m having fun criticizing myself...but seriously now everything is on my own, from laundry to cooking to watever det needs to be done which was taken care of by my maid and all det, i m suddenly appreciating maids very very much.

Meanwhile, apart from the cooking which is something i am not complaining about cuz i love cooking, bakiing wateverlar cuz i m just so in love with food, other than that i do admit i missed home a lil, i miss my car. In here, i get around on foot or by bicycle, which is good cuz seriously i was afraid that i might come back being FAT, but now i dun need to worry bout this issue cuz with the amount of cycling i m doing from my neighbourhood to my workplace, and to every other part of this beautiful town, i guess i could actually come back looking really fit.

Yesterday was a record day , i worked through 12 hours in the roastery. It was only my second training day, and yet, my co worker which was supposed to mentor and teach me was fired because once again she came out with some stupid excuse that gotten my employer to be rather fed up of her lies which she has done pretty much the last few weeks.Hence, with me barely knowing things around, i had to man the whole entire place for 2 hours before oby came in with extra help.Thank GOD we managed to go through the whole day, and customers were pouring in like hell, damnit n i was just getting started hehehe...anyhow my coffee making skills were superb, i did like 10 shots of espresson in one go, i ve to say that i m quite proud of the fact det i manage to do so. Americans are also really patient people, although some italian and french ppl can be really irritating at times, cuz they know so much bout coffees they dictate u to make the espresso specifically and make u redo again and again until they r satisfied.(phew, lucky i din meet em yet).

I am learning so much bout coffee although i dun drink em but seriously its really so much fun to learn too, from shots, to lattes, the list is really endearing but fulfilling too. One thing i cant deny, people in US give tips generously, gosh u know although the work is nothing to shout about, in fact it is rather difficult too if u aint prepare for it.However, at the end of the day when u get tips like det and u can go over to places like Marshalls (branded warehse store) and get a pair of branded glasses just from ur tips. Man i m lovin the american wages and its spending power in a dollar.Hell u work like shit in M'sia and yet u prolly cant even manage to pay up ur expenses not to mention luxury items to pamper urself. Anyways, i m really motivated now, hehe its funny cuz i m educated to such an extend and i end up working as a barista but earning so much more in terms of det. Living in such a cool hse, and once again i m just a waitress (ironic isnt it??)
gtg for now, work starts soon...:P

NYC

Finally, i am here ....i m feeling so good, i think i never felt this peaceful before. The last 9 months of hell is over. Its been really hectic, and now i ve officially passed all my papers and need not worry of anything more which had me stressed up to the core.(Thank god...and seriously i am still at shock that i manage to get through all my papers....this is seriously a miracle...lol...)
Anyways, where shall i sum up the last week....in one word, it was amazing.I met up with many good buddies who took time off to see me (which i appreciate a lot), especially to the few of u,the ones who took me camera shopping, came and help me packed and gave me tons of advice what to do lol...its not like i ve not travel before (in fact this is my 2nd time to the states eversince the last trip i took when i was 12). However, its still good to feel loved and missed by many...(hehe damn i m perasan).
I luv my family too who took me out and had a scrumptious meal before i left especially my big bro,seriously i owe him a lot to my stinct here. Meanwhile, i had to go through a damn long travelling journey from thurs onwards. Having transit in both HK and canada and finally to JFK NYC. My travelling companion (Florence) and I had an amazing race adventure in NYV the next 2 days. In order to make our way to the state of delaware, up north west of NY, we explore the famous subway (which is one of the most confusing subways i ever been). We were subjected to lose ourselves in the massive crowd, very complicated entrances and signboards. Nevertheless, stepping into places like time square, fifth avenue and so on really makes me feel like i just step into the movies. The skycrapers that surrounds u ,overlooking the statue of liberty, the awe of being part of a new yorker lifestyle just gets u going.

We managed to get hold of tickets and make our way up to rehoboth beach on sat. This part of delaware houses the upper middle class residents. Its an holiday beach resort. We arrived at Ocean City,Maryland just in time for the famous sunfest.Hence, we happened to catch the carnival which was going on dere and along with it some very famous bands in the 70s playing gigs dere. We met oby dere, and he's really a dynamic person. He took us to his friend's italian restaurant. Apparently this guy is one of the richest person in the state of delaware. He owns almost all the italian chain of restaurants and half of the properties around, and as we were bout to get off to his place,we spotted his latest collection of cars, none other than the latest model from jaguar,price half a million USD.(who the hell spend det much on a car?? damn stupid leh..)

We were den brought to the neighbourhood which we were be staying for 2 and a half months. I am impressed, my hse is so big, i ve to admit i do feel kinda scare living in it with just florence. Somehow, i ve been rather use to living in an apartment. I guess i need to start to adjust myself to adapt myself into this neighbourhood. (seriously, i cant help wondering whether this is the neighbourhood that they used to shoot the background from scenesof dsperate hsewives) its just so familiar, the settings, the people everything.

Anyhow, i ve finally settle in and officially started my first day training today, sure hope everything goes well and for now, i m gonna let it on and enjoy myself..:)

divine intervention

its time when u face pressure ,
u wish u were bright,
u feel insecure,
but u know whats wrong but just dont know why ?
what should u do den?
what is consider right?

u realized that there's really nothing more than,
a tiny obstacle in your life, and you should just stay focus,
and move on and be who you are which u feel alright.

some things are meant to be,
and u dun really need to force it neither do u apprehend it.
just go with the flow,and if it happens hence, be happy and enjoy
this journey in your life.

and if it doesn't,
stop being harsh neither critical,
just take it on and look on the positive side,
u had the chance but its just a destiny that aint yours
to go about.

what's dere to worry,when its all in the hands of fate??
u lose some u gain some,
u cant ve everything,neither can u be having nothing..
its just a matter of seeing things in an open light,
being really uptight is not going to help...
act moderately and seek a better account..

stop comparing yourself, and start using the time for
more meaningful things,,
cherish ur life and ve a better time in doing so
and its the best u probably can do for your own
well being..

finally go seek for help if u had too,
cuz u aint alone and u know its not only YOU!!
when u finally accept the fact and be proud of who u really are,
u will have had what this life could offer, not power,
neither wealth,
but greater happiness because u had the best when u r in good health...:)

7 days to go...

can it be anymore depressing??

Can it be anymore depressing???

m having finals now, on top of det ve to deal wif the renovations(contractors are ignorant...period), the bloody paperworks of all sorts for internship. Thank God det the visa got through, who says travelling is easy??? Its the most nerve wrecking thing, spend last 2 days fretting about procedures,juggling emotions with various people but the one that got me boiled up is having to deal wif travel agents..again another pointless event where u get lousy ppl whom give u info on all the wrong things and make u panic yet again after wanting u to apply another visa (as though as one is not enuff) and den telling u that its either det or u ll get stranded on board...BOy!!!(which is not true by the way, but what's the point of arguing when they just don't listen???) seriously woke up this morning with a heavy heart, genetics paper just 5 hours away, and my mind is filled with so many issues...GOD save me...

note to self....take it easy..phew..

a past or a begining?

its really odd that things should be forgotten,
he's not into you....
get out or get hurt!!
yet... why does it seems that there's this urging that tells u,
its not what it seems,
its not even what it means.
give it a lil more time,
and maybe you will reap the benefit out of the waiting.
or...
maybe you can fall even flatter and ve ur heart broken into pieces.
its like you are cursed,
you hang on and try to let it go,
you tell yourself nothing will get into your way.
Because the last thing you ever wanna do is to get caught up in shit,
why do ppl like to play so many games??
u asked yourself truthfully,
are you just hallucinating?
is it just a mere frustration of not getting what you want,
or is it real?

it gets so weird, you feel so much fear,
you really dont know what to do,
are you r really bounded to this or is it just another big mistake,
you really truely don;'t want to fall,
you really hope det some miracle will get u to wake up,
sometimes u recollect so much,
and yet u never get a conclusion...

u wish that u had an answer,
but u know its not ur call and u pray
that if the Almighty above loves you,
pls give you a msg or an indication
to not let u dwell in so much misery,
u really dont deserve.
u need to stop painting false pics,
need to concentrate and get away,
need to learn to talk urself some sense and face reality.

sounds easy??gosh....and this is what they call love.....

pressure dawns...

leaving....is it a begining?
or is it a soul searching of what is to becoming.
Dreaming...is it all reasons,
of never getting the achievements?
or never being true and realistic,
to the fact that all are but underlying consequences.

Loving...is it to becoming,
or merely thinking of having but gaining nothing?
seething....is it to take out the uneven lining,
or having a somewhat blame to secure,
the fear and troubles of this being.

Finally thinking...is it all worthless thoughts,
which are nothing but deceiving?
and playing a role in getting nothing but... feelings.
Am leaving, am not needing,
am afraid to become what was truly the actual being.

The idea, of conceiving a web that seeks a yearning,
but never make a cut,because it is afraid to step out.
As it will create a cascade of fears,
a drop in between the tears,
most likely incurring all the devils of the ears.

What is the ending,
of the begining..
or has it just started?
or merely left to follow or rather ,
it had not, to begin with???

a leash of desires...

timely consequence,
unable to move, sorrowful laughter,
indecisive reasons,
unable to comprehend,
why these reasons?

non-existence,
impulsive yearns,
reasons of devastation,
flowing within, going beyond.

seeking the unforseen,
unable to return,
doubtful wishes,anxious anticipation.
to fall is to climb,
to think is to fall.

thoughts of desicions,
nothing more nothing less.
live like never been lived,
flow like a constant stream.

leaving is another dream,
learning is another scene.
three images in one,
two desires to hard.

what is the conclusion,
what is the answer,flowing around the horizons,
or choosing between the valley?

what doubt? what concussion,
somtimes all this are but just repercussions..
torn in between,
the bad n the good.
unforseen action,
unknown circumstances....

a bliss in a midst..

Its been such a long time since i last make a proper entry, i figure det i really am not so discipline like some bloggers i know whom seemed to update their blogs regularly...anyhow...if i were to write on my everyday accounts of events, gosh trust me blogging itself will be a job instead. Meanwhile my finals are just 2 weeks away, and guess wat i m done with second yr, time truly truly flies, its been like weeks after weeks of crazy intense work,classes,dance,entertainjment etc and yet i feel det i have done things which i cant recall and it feels like its just a week ago n yet it has been like 2 months.My crazy schedule is making me lose track of time itself.

Visited mun's hometown,club and finally gotten very drunk big time ( not det i m proud of it) surprisingly i m very rational even in a drunken state no joke ( see i dun go embarass myself, which is a good thing) ,at least i know how much i can actually consumed ( gosh i can really drink if i want too...scary, it runs in the family i guess) and the saying of practice makes perfect is really true.....for ur info, i dun like drinking, i do so occasionally just for the entertainment of it and not wanting to be a spoilsport. However, i dun deny bout the dance part, i simply enjoy dancing and i rather hit the dance floor den sit around the drinking arena. Anyhow,eversince det nite wif mun n johnson, i ve officially not step into any clubs at all....really i just realized det i can live without it, not to mention det come to think of it da only reason i go clubbing is either to ve a more appropriate place det i can dance n enjoy the idea of doing wat i want without ppl bothering me..(cuz u knowlar in dance classes, somewat ppl tend to be so sensitive and scrutinized ur every move and its just so routined det dancing is just not dancing).
Anyhow, i ve been entertaining my good buddy whom came back for a 3 months break before returning to the states next week, sigh...m gonna miss u babe...celebrated her bday last week at hard rock,went shopping around cuz the mega sales started...honestly i ve so many stuff i think i can forget bout shopping for the entire year...(still din stop me from getting my hands on the pair of timberland loafers lol) btw i m moving next door soon, officially next week i ve 2 apartments to call home too lol..:P its just side by side...anyhow..i cant believe det my room itself contains so much stuff, moving next door itself could prolly take like 2-3 days at least ,and once again its next door(how ironic) ...
Btw i m keeping a surprise to some of you, i think i ll not reveal so soon till i can confirm but no matter wat u ll know in a matter of time...lol curiosity kills rite hehehe...its nothing biggielar....but den again u prolly miss me...oops a vital clue....anyhow.......i gtg now...ll drop by to update again....btw happy bday camy...bbq rocks...wat better way to celebrate den with an aptment up on the mountains ,crates of liquor,live acoustic music cun babes n LC(leng chais)...ahh a 21st bday well celebrated.....:)

For a dear friend who is having it tough....

At times, ppl really faces tough challenges especially when it comes to love. Lately, i know of some whom have been having it really bad, hence, i know its difficult when u wanna get out of something which u cant seemed to see the light but other could see it for u. Yet, sometimes words and actions will not help because in actual fact nothing works, the only thing that will is time and you. Based on this, it inspired me to write down this poem to u (u know who u r).I am afraid i dunno how to help anymore, because i am never gonna be able to make gold out of dust,hopefully u ll understand. And yes, i had it before, but i m through, i feel good..and dets why i know how u feel n how to help u see things through.......

Dear friend, I hope that you can feel much better after reading this poem which might hopefully allows u to search for ur answer...

In the time when you feel darkness,
surrounding u and suffocating u.
Even when the sun is shining brightly,
you will not feel its everlasting glow.

In the time when your anger, suppreses u,
when u just wanna burst within.
Even if there are angels showering you,
with all the love and care,
You will remain angry ,
and refuses to accept its presence.

what is wrong can be right,
But what is right is right.
Hence, you can make things wrong easily,
but making it right ,it takes centuries.

You feel torn and used within,
But don't you see that it is all a feeling,
a sense of the moment,a second of glory.
Look further and you will noticed,
that if u managed to shine and come out in between,
you will turn and become the best,
of what u truly deserves to be.

Words cannot expressed,
how much det u ve been hurt.
Take it easy ,
den for u could be all that u r worth.
You dun need to find excuses,
neither do u need to search.
All you have to do is let it off,
and time will healed.

The facts might me crude,
but the truth will remain the truth.
When you burn a paper,
the paper will turn to ashes,
ashes never turn back into paper,
and thats really an impossible thing to do.

My dear friend,i hope this poem
will get through to u,
i really truly do,i
f i did what u truly wants me to do,
then i ll be destroying you.
Because i cannot turn ashes to be paper,
this is something nobody can do.

But i know of how ashes will be flown away,
and in time you will manage to find back the paper.
Only thing is ,it will be brand new,
and fill with everthing that u desire.

it still has to start from you,
because you light the candle,
and u shall shine brightly as you always do,
because you are worth it,
and you just need to get a grip,
and let the candle shines thorugh!!! :)

Be sucessful...

Have you ever heard the expression, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch?" Maybe an older, wiser individual would tell you this to keep you from getting ahead of yourself. Like buying a new car before you actually got that new job. Well, when setting and obtaining your goals, you need to "Count your chicken before they hatch" in your mind. What I mean by this is you have to start seeing yourself completing or obtaining your goal. What you profess, you possess!

The first thing you need to do is sit down and set your goals. Diana Scharf Hunt said "Goals are dreams with deadlines." A lot of times, people are thrown off by the idea of taking the time to set their goals. But when you take a trip, do you not come up with a plan and ultimate destination. Well, setting goals is the same process. I suggest that you first do a Must Have, Why, How analysis.
First, write down a list of must haves; bigger home, luxury trips, new cars, work from home, etc. Then decide why these must haves are important to you and prioritize them. Lastly, write down how you are going to get the must haves.

Also, ask yourself these questions:
What are the tools and resources do I need?
Why do I not have what I want now?
What past experiences are in the way?
Who can I talk to that has already succeeded?
How am I paying for this?
What are the tradeoffs?
What am I going to give up?

From this analysis, start writing down you goals. Remember, without a start, there cannot be an ending. Denis Watley stated "The reason most people never reach their goals is that they don't define them, or ever seriously consider them as believable or achievable. Winners can tell you where they are going, what they plan to do along the way, and who will be sharing the adventure with them."
Once finished writing your goals, next you need to start visualizing your dreams. Henry David Thoreau once said "If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." You need image yourself accomplishing your goals and obtaining your treasures. Will yourself into succeeding. Never think that you cannot reach your desired results. Talk about the desires as if you have already obtained it. A good practice is to read your goals daily. If you are having a bad day, read them over and over.
Thirdly, you need to get the tools and resources to needed to accomplish your goals. Maybe you have decided to start a home-based business as a mechanism to consummate the acquiring of your dreams. Start gathering documentation on how to run your home-based business. Join service group that might help you. Take the step to start reaching your goals. Kathy Seligman said "You can't hit a home run unless you step up to the plate. You can't catch a fish unless you put your line in the water. You can't reach your goals if you don't try." Get started today!!
The fourth point is to surround yourself with like-minded people. In the Bible, Jesus told one of his disciples, "Get behind me Satan." What he was saying was if you are not with me, you are against me. The same applies to you. Detach yourself from people who are negative towards you goals. If you are going to be rich, why not surround yourself with people who are already rich. David Joseph Schwartz once said "Think little goals and expect little achievements. Think big goals and win big success."
Lastly, and most importantly, do not be afraid of success. This phobia is the main reason most people fail. They make no preparation for succeeding. When they succeed, they do not know how to act. People start questioning their success. They start telling themselves that they do not deserve to be successful. And eventually, obtain what they profess. When you are setting your goals, make a plan for being successful. Tell yourself that you deserve to be successful and that you should procure your desires. Catherine Pulsifer best sums this up, "The unfortunate aspect about living life without your own goals is that you may very well reach a point in your life where you will wonder, 'what would have happened if I had only done..." In closing, the first thing you need to do is start planning and setting your goals. Then you need start visualizing yourself completing your dreams. Also, you will need to get some tools and resources that will help you achieve you goals. And surrou nd yourself with people who are positive and have the same goals as you do. And most importantly, prepare yourself for success. When the time comes, don't be afraid to be successful. Think about this, in the Bible Jesus said, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." You need to start seeing yourself as attaining your goals. Act and talk as if you already have obtained them. Now get started!

tranquility

when thoughts are ajar,
when imagination is far,
what makes the mind in accordance,
is what makes the heart at par.

when the moment get the better of you,
when nothing revolves and nothing comes through.
seek within your soulful self,
you will find all you need and thats what that helps.

when troubles arises,keep firmly on your grounds,
stand around and look before you when you start.
when actions count and nothing leads you to go in between,
you will see the sun rises and you feel like a queen.

this brings about a vivid dream,
a fairytail of wonders,
a life peaceful and serene.
what makes the heart sees,what makes the eyes breath,
tranquility,the ore within!

redang trip..

immediately after i came back from s'wak, upon resting for 2 days and its off again to redang island. We left on mother's day, i had dinner at the ship wif my family before they drop me off to board the bus with the whole bunch of my uni mates....all in all the experience was one word"unforgettable" ...

Having travelled pretty much since i was younger, i definitely experience all sorts of vacations, from camping types, to boarding a yatch,cruises,tours, performances etc lets just say i had it both sides, being with the groupies, the snobs and now the mates... anyhow i took this experience and the other experiences as well to learn the most out of everything, and the best thing i learned through travelling is the way one person can adapt and tune him/herself accordingly to fit the boarding deck. its all in the mind, and its all the head to have fun no matter wat circumstances...i have to say this, i m proud that i suceeded in doing so :)

Hence, what turn out to be a boring beach hol to many on the other hand gave me pleasure in being fascinated with all sorts of activities, however the most fascinating of em all is how the behaviour of humanity turns out to be, the way mannerism is concocted, behaviours twisted yet at times hilarious....U know when u travel wif all sorts of ppl its pretty good for observing how the person is, den again i guess i ve my fair share of being scrutinized..anyways...to get to the trip basis, it was a great 3 days, fun filled with beaches, snorkelling activities ( gets pretty boring too... cuz the poor corals are dying off, and sceneries as advertised are not as good as it looks)

However, we had a chatty( or rather irritating at times) guide which somewat gave us a overall tour of the island, btw we manage to celebrate wai pin's bday as well cuz there was a bbq dinner for one nite which we had a grand feast i must say..( for the very cheap price det we pay) no complains lar... Oh btw, i came back 3 shades darker or rather i turn into another race, my mom prolly thought det her daughter is abducted at sea and in place was a substitute lol i wishlar...
Anyways, to cut the long story short, the trip was a breath of fresh air, beautiful scenery ( det i must praised) however, if only the facilities were a lil better, frankly i dun mind paying more..but like they say go with the crowd...it would be a whole lot betta..( den again it wont be as much fun as it could ve turn out rite? :P hehe ) check out the pics below den..for some awesome scenic views..

MIRI: Mulu caves trip :p

Its been a while since i updated my blog, meanwhile i just came back from a long 5day trip flying towards the east coast.Meanwhile it was a very needed rejuvenation trip to revive myself of my existence. Life really truly is something precious, memories and experiences serve a greater object to remind one of its true significance.

After my finals, i took a trip to Miri sarawak with a gd friend wai pin, n together the both of us spend 4 days 3 nite in miri and mulu caves, a reserve spot for caving and climbing activities.
The trip was an eye opener, having been to many places when i was younger, however, seeing sceneries of caves, natural formation of underwater grounds , stalagtites and stalagmites. All in all it is a whole new different experience, nothing city, nothing urban just plain and natural.To think that civilization had created such drastic difference and how evolvement of humanity had turn out to be, n yet needless to say GOD is still majestic, for his creations is truly astounding and if he can create he definitely can destroy, hence, the trip had serve myself a great reminder of being humble in my presence towards life itself.

To summarize off, we spend 2 days exploring the 4 famous caves known as lang,deer,wind and clearwater caves.We saw thousands of bats circling around caves, especially the view of the underwater caves that reminded me of clips i saw from Lord of the Rings and Indiana jones.

Both of us check in the famous royal mulu resort and had a pretty good stay dere.The rooms
were build in a forest like cabins, it was just so refreshing waking up to birds chirping,peaceful serenity and good weather,had such a great rest dere.Apart from the food which does not really fit our tastebuds, probably due to our fussy and overly picky appetites, nevertheless i had enjoyed myself tremendously. We experienced flying in fokker planes, those tiny planes det carry a max amount of 50 passengers, the flight was really fun, becuz the height we flew enable us to view mountains all the way. A special thanks to our classmate steve who took the trouble to host us around miri upon arriving dere.Needless to say, life was indeed a breath of fresh air, and it was really a trip worth taking .:)

lucky valley, camp rejuventaion...

a lot have happen the past weeks... i am on study break now becuz finals are just around the corner and i m so stress out i was really feeling a whole lot of emotions last 2 weeks, i went on a yoga rejuvenation camp in a spiritual place named lucky valley...gosh having stayed in msia for so long, i guess my geography must be really bad cuz i never heard of this place before in my life....and it existed...it turns out det this valley is a place where the tai chi,kung fu and yoga masters all over the world comes out for their practices as there lays a famous pyramid which was believed to contain "chi" also known as energy, and the whole place is charged with energy balls which are floating around in the skies among the valley...( the founder from taiwan was given a calling by GOD to search for this in 1984 and he took 2 yrs to find this valley and ve sinced established it till today...)

to put it in short, some ppl actually seen GOD dere, buddhist devotees claim det its a spiritual ground which a lot of supernatural forces are found, hence, upon knowing about the history of this place, i now starts to realized the utmost importance of the trip which i ve just went and came back....having said det....let me tell u how i wind up going to a place which i guess even my mom feels det its way out of the world for someone so city like me to actually go,( btw did i tell u det the facilities are somewat like a camp thingy nevertheless its only a 2 day 1 nite thing, so i manage to survivelar..)

meanwhile, i was going to the gym so often det almost all the instructors are my best friends hehe....seriously, anyways edwin( the master instructor of yoga in california fitness) he organized this trip and he actually approached and invited me along, gosh....i m so honoured, to think det he actually feels det i ve the potential to join his group of "pro" yoga ppl ( seriously these ppl been doing it for 3-10 yrs sorta thing) anyways i figure i should go despite hesitation ,cuz seriously i still dun think i meet the standards...( btw i was the youngest dere, tks to my good friend wai pin whom i drag along to go wif me, cuz all the ppl were like in their late 20's to 40's., all the fanatic yoga practitioners..).meanwhile it was the most rejuvenated camp i ever been in my life.....as i was going through some issues of late, in fact i was losing faith in so many things.....anyhow, when we did the sun salutation facing the east as the sun rises above us, strangely i experience this sorta energy which i never felt before, it really feels like GOD's touch,my body was rejuvenated at that second, it felt so light, so peaceful, it felt like i died and float somewhere becuz i just thought of nothing, but a feeling of deep calm peacefulness....
it came and went in a second,strange and weird, and i ll never forget det feeling, i came back a whole new person...

and i know now det despite the many obstacles in life, GOD is watching all of us, i still doubt my own faith level at times, because i am and feel det i can never live up to what christianity should be simply becuz i am still unable to accept some things or rather i just don't feel like facing it yet...i am not good, to the standard that i perceived that a good christian should be, i feel det i cannot live up to the notions of it, becuz i am just caught up still in the material world, my ambitious nature, too high expectations of my life, these are the things that i cant let go....but in the end i believe all these are excuses , i hope someday i can find the courage to do so, or maybe this are all too much for me to face for the moment.....
i believe very much in love.....probably this ll be the last call where i can understand det the reality of the world stills bounds around an emotion and however much it twists around, the grasp of love is still the stronger one....
( this post is just to share some sights and personal issues of what i view life as, meanwhile if u r really in need of an answer for ur life,or simply to release stress, u should go to lucky valley.....check it up on the website...this place is really one word to describe, simple, yet the power it reveals, amazing.:))

how innocent are u ??

this is a good one sent to me by a friend, enjoy reading, and ve a great laugh afterthat..:P smile and be happy...

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Boy, what is your problem?"

Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy to the principal's office.
While Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her,
"I think Boy can go to the third-grade."

Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions".Can I ask him ?"
The principal and Boy both agree.

Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy, after a moment: Legs.

Ms Nee lam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy: Pockets.

Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut

Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum

Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer..
Boy: Shake hands

Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy: Yep!!

Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent> >

Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with mewhen you're bored. The best man always has me first.The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.> >
Boy: Wedding Ring> >

Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose

Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver
Boy: Arrow

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy: Firetruck.

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it u have to use ur hand.
Boy: Fork

Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy: SURNAME

Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send this Boy. to Delhi University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"
are you as innocents as this boy?

A dedication to the people around me...:)

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met,
our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy .
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person and put what you have learned to
use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

GReat Party....:P

On sat, i decided to throw a party a the legend hotel since my mom had been so excited to do so, well it was a tradition since young where i always used this particular day to get friends together, hence, it was great to be able to do it again. Meanwhile, i had a hi tea thing and really to some of my friends out dere, i want to sincerely apologize if i miss u, cuz it was hell of a last min thing, and i had to limit my guests because the bookings were full.....however dun u worry....dere's still many yrs more ...hehe wink wink...:P

Anyways, all my guests turns out full force, and really it was great, i mean i felt good to see all of u enjoying urself so much..( i hope..) meanwhile, the food spread was really great, although the line was rather long ....anyways,...i simply enjoyed the beautiful tiramisu cake....gosh ..thumbs up to alexis...for those of u who missed tasting this , honestly u miss the whole thingla.r..:P
Anyways...just a shout out to my aunt for giving me that cake, cuz really this cake and i had a history...(hey dun use ur imagination so much k :P ) anyways its just my magic booster, when i m down, all i need to get things done, honestly even sex is not as good...(ok..i ll try to be more decent with usage of words..) hmm..maybe the cake n sex....oops..:)

Meanwhile, i did felt like barbie det day, the feeling was good...but of cuz its the smiles i see around det makes this euphoric feeling....anyways...just want to thank u all for making it a great day.....meanwhile i adored the pressies that i received, thanks for the perfumes, chocolates( u r trying to make me fat eh..),phone (smirk),cosmetics , etc....as i m turning older by a yr, i ve decided det life is just about to get started full force, hence, its time i put it in action and leave things behind...which i ve done.....:) meanwhile...dere's this saying, u built an ark u get wood out of it, u built gold, and u get wat u r looking for.....i intend to go for platinum....wanna challenge me..wink wink...hehe...(this blog is meant to keep me amuse, so dun take things to heart k....) :P

dancing fever....:)

phew, finally the last test is over and i get a week off before the battle of the continuing tests continues, gosh these past 3weeks had been stressful, however i still manage to squeeze in time for all the things that i should not be doing hehe...no wonder they say that women are great multitasker which is true in my case, i realized det i can do 3 things at once but only prob is i ll end up messing up...anyways...i had send off my invitations to all my friends for the upcoming "event" hehe next sat...actually its just an excuse to get everyone to catch up and det i get to be the mediator in between, nevertheless i do hope det U n I mean U people will turn up n get back to me asap k.....stupid hotel ppl, been bugging me to confirm the numbers for so many days, its just a small thinglar...not like i m throwing a wedding or so....gosh, so annoying....
meanwhile for those of u that ve confirm ur arrival, we r gonna be having a blast, great food n me as the source of entertainment, free of charge, what better way to enjoy ur day....hehe..:)
oklar i ll stop being so perasan.... btw guess wat happen.... i gotten a present from a friend, and it was the v3i phone det i wanted gosh..i was reluctant to take it at first, honestly..i mean its such an expensive gift besides gifts like det normally comes with some form of intention which i thinklar....and not to say anything not det i cant afford to buy it...nevertheless it just feels so good to receive a pressie like det, just wanted to thank u...n still think det u should not waste ur $$$ anyways after confiding in a few ppl, everyone says det is ok to take...so i takelar....m playing wif this new baby, falling in love with it too...:P
meanwhile lately i ve been so into dancing, i counted det in just 3 weeks alone i attended almost 20 hours of dance classes, excluding clubbing which does not count...honestly if u ask me 2 yrs back i ll never b able to do this much dancing in fact i dun even know how....but as i see the progress today,i really wanna thank these few special ppl for giving me so much guidance over the 2 yrs, frank,yvette, farah (especially u) and lingerto gosh now i m ur leading dancer eh..hehe
anyhow i vow to take up dancing seriously after graduating, really love it n i m really gonna major in BD n watever det comes...but really this is getting me motivated in reaching goals det i ve set out to pursue and m still going strong despite many setbacks.....
nevertheless i always believe det u must never give up no matter wat u do, i ll stick to that attitude...until then even the darkest hour of the day can still shine brigthly if u want it to shine....hence, just got to find my own light, dets all...
anyhow i ve nuthing to complain and nuthing to say anymore except det life is always great regardless how it turns out, every possible thing that happens just ve a good reason out of it...and as long as u dun run away but face the problem n get it over n done with, u ll be fine, n then just let time takes the course of the healing journey....n get on wif life....having figure det out i m just so gonna enjoy my life, love my family, love u my friends n just want to spread love to every person i meet....muaks..:P hehe.....(ewww i sound so lovey dovey..):)

lost light...

in times when the light seems blinded by the clouds,
itsa never easy to search the passage for the road to walk on.

in times when u lost your light,
its difficult to explain why people feels n do as they does.

yet some things like hope, love,
they do exist ,as such in times when u feel utterly lost,
u must search within and find the faith to get on
to get by,and det's where the direction of the light
will switch on and allow u to see where the right path is for u.

some things are unexplainable,
but then if everything has an answer,
then life ll not b as fascinating as it should be..

yet sometimes its such an emotional ride,
out of control, irrational,deprived..
the lost feeling and the sense of frustration that accompanies,
an undignified existence, an unknown unleashed,
then again, the light is in the hands of the controller who controls,
or is it the seeker that seeks?
or rather the fate that has befallen
onto what is not being chosen but rather what is being given.....