The whole new american lifestyle..

I am trying to get used to my new life here. Its getting on fine except that i suddenly feel the lost of comfort....lol...hmmm, lets see i am such a spoilt brat back in M'sia, i had no house chores, no laundry etc. You know the typical city gal det kinda ve evrything done for her because she's either plain lucky or rather one word"spoilt" hehehe...sheesh i m having fun criticizing myself...but seriously now everything is on my own, from laundry to cooking to watever det needs to be done which was taken care of by my maid and all det, i m suddenly appreciating maids very very much.

Meanwhile, apart from the cooking which is something i am not complaining about cuz i love cooking, bakiing wateverlar cuz i m just so in love with food, other than that i do admit i missed home a lil, i miss my car. In here, i get around on foot or by bicycle, which is good cuz seriously i was afraid that i might come back being FAT, but now i dun need to worry bout this issue cuz with the amount of cycling i m doing from my neighbourhood to my workplace, and to every other part of this beautiful town, i guess i could actually come back looking really fit.

Yesterday was a record day , i worked through 12 hours in the roastery. It was only my second training day, and yet, my co worker which was supposed to mentor and teach me was fired because once again she came out with some stupid excuse that gotten my employer to be rather fed up of her lies which she has done pretty much the last few weeks.Hence, with me barely knowing things around, i had to man the whole entire place for 2 hours before oby came in with extra help.Thank GOD we managed to go through the whole day, and customers were pouring in like hell, damnit n i was just getting started hehehe...anyhow my coffee making skills were superb, i did like 10 shots of espresson in one go, i ve to say that i m quite proud of the fact det i manage to do so. Americans are also really patient people, although some italian and french ppl can be really irritating at times, cuz they know so much bout coffees they dictate u to make the espresso specifically and make u redo again and again until they r satisfied.(phew, lucky i din meet em yet).

I am learning so much bout coffee although i dun drink em but seriously its really so much fun to learn too, from shots, to lattes, the list is really endearing but fulfilling too. One thing i cant deny, people in US give tips generously, gosh u know although the work is nothing to shout about, in fact it is rather difficult too if u aint prepare for it.However, at the end of the day when u get tips like det and u can go over to places like Marshalls (branded warehse store) and get a pair of branded glasses just from ur tips. Man i m lovin the american wages and its spending power in a dollar.Hell u work like shit in M'sia and yet u prolly cant even manage to pay up ur expenses not to mention luxury items to pamper urself. Anyways, i m really motivated now, hehe its funny cuz i m educated to such an extend and i end up working as a barista but earning so much more in terms of det. Living in such a cool hse, and once again i m just a waitress (ironic isnt it??)
gtg for now, work starts soon...:P

NYC

Finally, i am here ....i m feeling so good, i think i never felt this peaceful before. The last 9 months of hell is over. Its been really hectic, and now i ve officially passed all my papers and need not worry of anything more which had me stressed up to the core.(Thank god...and seriously i am still at shock that i manage to get through all my papers....this is seriously a miracle...lol...)
Anyways, where shall i sum up the last week....in one word, it was amazing.I met up with many good buddies who took time off to see me (which i appreciate a lot), especially to the few of u,the ones who took me camera shopping, came and help me packed and gave me tons of advice what to do lol...its not like i ve not travel before (in fact this is my 2nd time to the states eversince the last trip i took when i was 12). However, its still good to feel loved and missed by many...(hehe damn i m perasan).
I luv my family too who took me out and had a scrumptious meal before i left especially my big bro,seriously i owe him a lot to my stinct here. Meanwhile, i had to go through a damn long travelling journey from thurs onwards. Having transit in both HK and canada and finally to JFK NYC. My travelling companion (Florence) and I had an amazing race adventure in NYV the next 2 days. In order to make our way to the state of delaware, up north west of NY, we explore the famous subway (which is one of the most confusing subways i ever been). We were subjected to lose ourselves in the massive crowd, very complicated entrances and signboards. Nevertheless, stepping into places like time square, fifth avenue and so on really makes me feel like i just step into the movies. The skycrapers that surrounds u ,overlooking the statue of liberty, the awe of being part of a new yorker lifestyle just gets u going.

We managed to get hold of tickets and make our way up to rehoboth beach on sat. This part of delaware houses the upper middle class residents. Its an holiday beach resort. We arrived at Ocean City,Maryland just in time for the famous sunfest.Hence, we happened to catch the carnival which was going on dere and along with it some very famous bands in the 70s playing gigs dere. We met oby dere, and he's really a dynamic person. He took us to his friend's italian restaurant. Apparently this guy is one of the richest person in the state of delaware. He owns almost all the italian chain of restaurants and half of the properties around, and as we were bout to get off to his place,we spotted his latest collection of cars, none other than the latest model from jaguar,price half a million USD.(who the hell spend det much on a car?? damn stupid leh..)

We were den brought to the neighbourhood which we were be staying for 2 and a half months. I am impressed, my hse is so big, i ve to admit i do feel kinda scare living in it with just florence. Somehow, i ve been rather use to living in an apartment. I guess i need to start to adjust myself to adapt myself into this neighbourhood. (seriously, i cant help wondering whether this is the neighbourhood that they used to shoot the background from scenesof dsperate hsewives) its just so familiar, the settings, the people everything.

Anyhow, i ve finally settle in and officially started my first day training today, sure hope everything goes well and for now, i m gonna let it on and enjoy myself..:)

divine intervention

its time when u face pressure ,
u wish u were bright,
u feel insecure,
but u know whats wrong but just dont know why ?
what should u do den?
what is consider right?

u realized that there's really nothing more than,
a tiny obstacle in your life, and you should just stay focus,
and move on and be who you are which u feel alright.

some things are meant to be,
and u dun really need to force it neither do u apprehend it.
just go with the flow,and if it happens hence, be happy and enjoy
this journey in your life.

and if it doesn't,
stop being harsh neither critical,
just take it on and look on the positive side,
u had the chance but its just a destiny that aint yours
to go about.

what's dere to worry,when its all in the hands of fate??
u lose some u gain some,
u cant ve everything,neither can u be having nothing..
its just a matter of seeing things in an open light,
being really uptight is not going to help...
act moderately and seek a better account..

stop comparing yourself, and start using the time for
more meaningful things,,
cherish ur life and ve a better time in doing so
and its the best u probably can do for your own
well being..

finally go seek for help if u had too,
cuz u aint alone and u know its not only YOU!!
when u finally accept the fact and be proud of who u really are,
u will have had what this life could offer, not power,
neither wealth,
but greater happiness because u had the best when u r in good health...:)

7 days to go...

can it be anymore depressing??

Can it be anymore depressing???

m having finals now, on top of det ve to deal wif the renovations(contractors are ignorant...period), the bloody paperworks of all sorts for internship. Thank God det the visa got through, who says travelling is easy??? Its the most nerve wrecking thing, spend last 2 days fretting about procedures,juggling emotions with various people but the one that got me boiled up is having to deal wif travel agents..again another pointless event where u get lousy ppl whom give u info on all the wrong things and make u panic yet again after wanting u to apply another visa (as though as one is not enuff) and den telling u that its either det or u ll get stranded on board...BOy!!!(which is not true by the way, but what's the point of arguing when they just don't listen???) seriously woke up this morning with a heavy heart, genetics paper just 5 hours away, and my mind is filled with so many issues...GOD save me...

note to self....take it easy..phew..

a past or a begining?

its really odd that things should be forgotten,
he's not into you....
get out or get hurt!!
yet... why does it seems that there's this urging that tells u,
its not what it seems,
its not even what it means.
give it a lil more time,
and maybe you will reap the benefit out of the waiting.
or...
maybe you can fall even flatter and ve ur heart broken into pieces.
its like you are cursed,
you hang on and try to let it go,
you tell yourself nothing will get into your way.
Because the last thing you ever wanna do is to get caught up in shit,
why do ppl like to play so many games??
u asked yourself truthfully,
are you just hallucinating?
is it just a mere frustration of not getting what you want,
or is it real?

it gets so weird, you feel so much fear,
you really dont know what to do,
are you r really bounded to this or is it just another big mistake,
you really truely don;'t want to fall,
you really hope det some miracle will get u to wake up,
sometimes u recollect so much,
and yet u never get a conclusion...

u wish that u had an answer,
but u know its not ur call and u pray
that if the Almighty above loves you,
pls give you a msg or an indication
to not let u dwell in so much misery,
u really dont deserve.
u need to stop painting false pics,
need to concentrate and get away,
need to learn to talk urself some sense and face reality.

sounds easy??gosh....and this is what they call love.....

pressure dawns...

leaving....is it a begining?
or is it a soul searching of what is to becoming.
Dreaming...is it all reasons,
of never getting the achievements?
or never being true and realistic,
to the fact that all are but underlying consequences.

Loving...is it to becoming,
or merely thinking of having but gaining nothing?
seething....is it to take out the uneven lining,
or having a somewhat blame to secure,
the fear and troubles of this being.

Finally thinking...is it all worthless thoughts,
which are nothing but deceiving?
and playing a role in getting nothing but... feelings.
Am leaving, am not needing,
am afraid to become what was truly the actual being.

The idea, of conceiving a web that seeks a yearning,
but never make a cut,because it is afraid to step out.
As it will create a cascade of fears,
a drop in between the tears,
most likely incurring all the devils of the ears.

What is the ending,
of the begining..
or has it just started?
or merely left to follow or rather ,
it had not, to begin with???